I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Randomize
