I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
