so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize