if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just want to make out with him forever
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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