He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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