i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
