Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
