She announced her abortion via fbk
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
