all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
