I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
