ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
