we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just gargled with NyQuil
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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