hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
