But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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