i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
