3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I wish I could punch you in the face.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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