I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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