He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
