Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
