So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
