mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
