I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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