Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
