I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
