I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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