I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
