So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Randomize
