That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
