I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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