Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
