Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
