I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
