Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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