I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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