I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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