walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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