The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
