Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
