I am in a vortex of obligation.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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