My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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