8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
