Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize