I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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