its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
