nut hugger
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
