Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
