PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
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The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
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YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.