I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.