Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.