I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
