white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome