just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
