Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
