Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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