32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
