i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
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The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
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Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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