I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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