omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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