can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
