I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
