There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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