You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize