I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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