They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
